May 2013
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
someone: what are your plans for the weekend
me: who knows
me: (i know)
me: (i'm not leaving the house)
lets do a thing. reblog and add your city and...
Shanghai, China
Pisa, Italy
Longkou, China
Brisbane, Australia
University Place, USA
Salamanca, Spain
Cambridge, England
Regentville, Australia (NSW)
Cupertino, USA
Chesapeake, USA
Gland, Switzerland
Biarritz, France
Southend-on-Sea, England
Manchester, England
Aberystwyth, Wales
Wałbrzych, Poland
Helsinki, Finland
Madrid, Spain
Palermo, Italy
Cape Canaveral, USA
Chicago, USA
Toronto, Canada
Glasgow, Scotland
Edinburgh, Scotland
Roma, Italy
Angers, France
Geneva, Switzerland
Leopoldina,Brazil
Munich, Germany
Colorado Springs, USA
Kansas City, USA
Lansing, MI, USA
Redding, USA
Exmouth, England
Painesville, OH, USA
Detroit, MI, USA
Houston, TX, USA
Louisville, Ky, USA
Yuma, AZ, USA
Tampa, FL, USA
Mansfield, TX, USA
Portsmouth, England
Kotka, Finland
ohmypheels:
everyone is like “omg tumblr should delete blogs that have been inactive for 2+ years” but i dont think they should
just imagine in 10 years time, in the back of your mind you remember tumblr, you open it up and you’re still logged in and you get to look at your blog and remember all this.
now imagine if you went back to see your old blog of your teenage years and it had been...
Friend: What's your type?
Me: Famous or fictional.
Today I got a detention for standing up for what I...
Teacher: Write down 3 things you dislike about yourself
Me: *sits there*
Teacher: Ciara, why aren't you writing?
Me: I can't do this. I will take a zero, sorry.
Teacher: Why?
Me: Because I refuse to promote self-hate. Because some people in the world can fill out 20 of these front and back with no blank spaces and this can trigger someone.
Teacher: Ciara, you have to do it or I am sending you to the office.
Me: Okay. *gets up and walks to office*
^needs more notes^
snapchatting:
you are under arrest for being attractive and ruining my life
person: hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven
me: are you implying that i am satan
person: no, i--
me: because you're right i am
that-disney-blog:
there are 3 types of people in the world: those that call him Flynn, those that call him Eugene and those that have no clue what I’m talking about
me: does one sit-up
me: checks for abs
